It is a beautiful summer day in August! You’ve loaded up the six human-sized duffle bags that still have the airline tags on them, into your rented minivan. You’ve done your (well at least the first round) and your child’s dorm room shopping at the nearest Walmart to the college campus. And now, it is time to drop your beloved child, your baby, your ‘cross’ off to college in a foreign country! But wait, before we get too much into the scene of either excessive crying and hugs, or a true ‘fete’ (for my American readers – a fete is a party – island style), let’s take a few steps back and make sure that you and ‘your first child to go to college’, are truly ready for the amazing and sometimes scary, life changing experience.
If you are a parent that has never gone off to college, lived in a foreign country, or had children go off to college in a foreign country, the entire process of getting your child to college can by intimidating. As an Education Consultant, my hope is that through this article, you will get insight on a few things that you need to be aware of and prepare for, during your child’s first year of college.
BUDGET
If your child wishes to attend school in the United States, and they cannot show proof of citizenship or residency, you will need to apply for a special visa for them. The most common visa that you need to have to study in the USA is called an F-1 visa. One of the documents require you to show proof of funds to cover the cost of tuition and fees (minus any scholarships, etc.). However, there are other items that you must budget for while your child is away in school.
- Travel to and from home. This is especially important for students that live in the college dorms. Often time dorms close for certain breaks including, Thanksgiving, Winter Break, Spring Break, and Summer. Make sure that you have budgeted for flights or other travel arrangements, and book flights at least a year in advance if possible.
- Books. If your child attends a school that requires you to buy their books separate from the tuition, this will not come as a surprise to you but books are generally not included in the tuition and they are extremely expensive! There are cheaper alternatives (used books, amazon, textbook rentals, etc) and now is the time to teach your child (if they aren’t already) to be frugal.
- Food. If your child is living in the college dorm, more than likely a meal plan is included or can be purchased, however, do not rely on your child having all of their meals at this facility. College students often pull ‘all-nighters’ and ‘all-nighters’ take food fuel (most dining facilities are not 24-hours). Additionally, international students get homesick and miss their native dishes. If there is no kitchen for the student to cook in (or time to cook) they will rely on restaurants that serve native food. Bahamian restaurants were hard for me to find when I was in college, but there was this Jamaican spot….let’s just say, that was my saving grace in college
- Transportation. Unless you plan on buying your college bound child a car (important for colleges in rural areas with no public transportation), you will want to make sure you budget for monthly transportation allowance. Most large colleges also have a shuttle that helps students to get around the college campus, but your child will sometimes need to go off campus for toiletries or to participate in study groups. Make sure you do your research on transportation options before dropping your child off to college.
Homesickness
I remember my mom dropping me off to a small rural college in the Midwest in the 1990’s. I chose this college because I wanted to be as far away from home as possible. I wanted to have a true college experience, make my own decisions, and in my head, being far away meant independence. Well, my mother and I said goodbye, and I hung out with my new friends in the dorm, while my mother went back to the hotel and cried her eyes out! Obviously reality hit her a lot sooner than it did me. But when the reality sunk in, and I realized that I was so far away from home, away from family, and away from my high school sweetheart, I had cycles of being extremely homesick! This is completely natural and normal.
As a parent, you want to support your child through this process. Today, it is so much easier than when I was in college. Now we have FaceTime, Social Media, and what would us island people do without Whatsapp! Sidenote: Try to avoid whatsapping your child like they are in the kitchen in your house and you are in the bedroom. Remember they are in college and have classes throughout the day. This also means that you should not jump on a plane every weekend to see your child.
To get over the homesickness, students need to get involved in the college social scene. Encourage your child to get involved in the international student association; find other students that are from their native country or region, or participate in other positive activities on or around campus that are interesting to them. Most colleges have a Care Package program where parents can purchase a box of goodies for their child. This is a great way to show your child you love and miss them as well.
Orientation
I cannot stress enough how important it is for your child to attend orientation weekend at their new college. Often times as islanders, we have limited time in the U.S. and want to maximize the time to do some shopping, and of course, spend as much time as possible with our child before leaving them in a foreign country. However, orientation is the most crucial part of your child’s freshman year experience. When I was a Director of Admissions, orientation was the one time that I was guaranteed to see international students and get them acclimated to the schools, the laws of the country, maintaining their immigration status, procedures for traveling in and out of the country, and providing information on support as an international student. This is also the time where international freshman meet others like themselves – they are all first time college students, they are all from a foreign country, and this is the opportunity to find out who else is from your country and develop those initial friendships.
It is worth the money to stay a few extra days if you wish to spend more quality, family time with your student, but please make sure they attend orientation.
DECLARED MAJOR
We have great expectations for our children as islanders. We teach and preach keeping your word and following through with your commitments. But there is one area where parents need to be a bit flexible, and that is their student changing their declared major. Think about it this way, in high school, they teach the academic fundamentals, which may have some introductions in the syllabus on potential college majors. However, it is totally different when you are in college and you are learning all the nuts and bolts of a major that you are expected to be the master of by the time you graduate. Basic journal entry in Mrs. Bryden’s high school Accounting classes is not the same as Cost Accounting at the college level with Professor Peters.
The Mentor – An Academic Advising Journal, stated that an estimated 75 percent of students change their major at least once before they graduate from college. Be patient with your child if they are exploring changing their major. It may help to have a conversation before they go to college about what realistically the course work for their major would entail to make sure they are ready. And if, as a parent, you are not sure of the course work, or unsure of how to have that conversation, that is when Education Consultants like myself, can be very helpful with facilitating that conversation.
